Xavier Roger
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It has been a bad couple of weeks for the fabulists at Fox News. Text messages made public as part of a lawsuit against the network have shown the disregard many popular hosts have for their audience as well as the ease with which they say things they don’t believe are true.
It’s clear from court filings in the Dominion Voting Systems $1.6 billion defamation lawsuit against Fox news that the network cares only about making money, and knows its money comes from telling viewers exactly what they want to hear. Supporting former President Donald Trump and parroting his lies about the 2020 election being rigged was good for the bottom line, so the network and hosts like Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and Tucker Carlson responded in kind.
But behind the scenes, Carlson was saying of Trump in text messages: “I hate him passionately.”
This puts Fox News viewers in a bind. Do they stick with their beloved right-wing network and continue to get played for suckers? Will they sit back and confirm Fox Corporation chairman Rupert Murdoch’s obvious belief that they’re easy marks?
It’s not easy for people to admit they’ve been had, so, as a kind-hearted liberal fellow, I’m here to offer a few sensible paths out of the Fox-News-conned-me trap.
Two scandals. One difference:Fox News’ election lies vs. sexism from CNN’s Don Lemon. The difference? Accountability.
Start your own at-home Fox News network
If you want to remain in a bubble that protects you from information and facts that run afoul of your worldview, you don’t need Fox News. There’s a simple do-it-yourself approach that allows you to kick that lying network to the curb and still hear only what you want to hear.
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All you’ll need are these household items: a mirror; hair gel; a notepad and pen; and a chair.
Step 1: Take the notepad and write down things that make you angry. Next to each item, write down who you want to blame for those things.
Step 2: Apply ample hair gel and style your hair as professionally as possible.
Step 3: Sit down in the chair, look into the mirror and angrily read the things you wrote on the notepad to yourself.
Repeat this process approximately 20 times a day and you will have successfully replicated Fox News.
Start watching and reading actual news
LOL! Just kidding. Only a liberal would do something dumb like that!
Fox News lied about election fraud:Why didn’t Trump Nation voters notice – or care?
Have your children or grandchildren lie to you using LEGO figures
Because many Fox News hosts like Sean Hannity resemble either LEGO figures or angry thumbs with faces, it’s easy to tune out the dishonest network, get only the kind of news that confirms your conspiratorial suspicions of liberals AND have some fun family time.
Have your kids or grandkids gather up some LEGO figures or draw angry faces on their thumbs. Then write down a few simple, easy-to-read things you want to believe. Examples include: “January sixth was a hoax and an-tee-fah is to blame” (phonetic spelling will help the youngsters); “Fow-Chee should be in prison”; and “Joe Biden is roo-ning America.”
Next, tell the little ones it’s time to play “news” and encourage them to use their “scary voices.” Sit back and enjoy.
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Launch a Twitter account called @MyVersionOfNews
For disgruntled Fox News viewers who are more tech-savvy, this option is simple. Just go to the Elon-Musk-owned social media site Twitter and create an account under the name: @MyVersionOfNews.
Throughout the day, send tweets detailing the news you want to believe is true. Then start talking to people and saying, “Well, I read on Twitter that…” and quote your own tweets. Problem solved, bubble secure!
Awake from your stupor
The final, and certainly least desirable, option is to acknowledge that allowing propaganda to thrive and pushing Americans away from an agreed-upon set of facts is divisive and paves the way for bad actors to manipulate large swaths of the populace for personal gain.
I dunno. The LEGO thing seems easier if I’m being honest.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.
More from Rex Huppke:
Anti-transgender rules, rhetoric and legislation are a shameful stain on America’s soul
‘Dark Brandon’ shows up at State of the Union, mops the floor with lost Republicans
USA TODAY food drive donates nearly 670,000 meals, columnist declares self ‘awesome’
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