Xavier Roger
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In Gov. Ron DeSantis’ “Free State of Florida,” a charter school principal was forced to resign after sixth-grade students were shown images of Michelangelo’s notably nude sculpture, “David.”
Apparently the horrors of art and anatomy were too much for some parents, and because DeSantis has empowered adults dippy enough to consider Renaissance art “pornography,” the principal was — in the spirit of freedom — shown the door.
David’s man-bits might be visible, but as DeSantis tries to raise his national profile ahead of a likely GOP presidential primary campaign, it’s becoming apparent the Florida emperor has no clothes.
Things haven’t gone well for Ron DeSanctimonius’ expected presidential run
Consider the recent stumbles by the man GOP presidential primary frontrunner and former President Donald Trump has labeled “Ron DeSanctimonius” and, somehow more insultingly, “Rob.”
DeSantis referred to Russia’s deadly invasion of Ukraine as “a territorial dispute” and was then admonished by Democrats and Republicans alike. So he flip-flopped in an interview with Piers Morgan and called Russian President Vladimir Putin a “war criminal.” Then on Friday he flop-flipped back to saying: “I care more about securing our own border in the United States than I do about the Russia-Ukraine border.”
DeSantis 2024: Three-finger pudding for everyone!
The Daily Beast ran a lengthy story citing former DeSantis staffers and GOP operatives who painted the governor as someone who “struggles with basic social skills.” That story included an anecdote about the governor’s allegedly messy eating habits, claiming he once devoured a chocolate pudding dessert with three fingers.
That’s dumb, of course, but it yielded this chyron when the Morgan interview was aired on Fox Nation: “RON: I DIDN’T EAT PUDDING WITH 3 FINGERS.”
And despite Trump’s increasing legal problems and consistent “badger-on-bath-salts” behavior, the former president is leading DeSantis by 15 points in the most recent Real Clear Politics polling average.
Most Americans disagree with DeSantis’ policies
A recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll showed most of DeSantis’ key Florida policies and goals — from banning abortions after six weeks of pregnancy to cutting diversity, equity and inclusion programs on college campuses — are opposed by a majority of Americans.
It’s not hard to conclude — and I say this as someone who was born and raised in the Sunshine State — that Florida ain’t like the rest of the country. And being a popular governor there doesn’t make DeSantis the political juggernaut Republicans hyped him up to be.
The revenge of ‘woke Disney’
Perhaps the most clear evidence that DeSantis’ culture-war-centric hollering has become white noise, literally and figuratively, was the news last week that Disney World will be hosting the Out & Equal Workplace Summit, one of the world’s largest LGBTQ conferences.
DeSantis boasts incessantly about his battles with “woke Disney,” which started when the company spoke out about the governor’s law prohibiting teachers from talking about gender identity or sexual orientation in school classrooms up through third grade, known broadly as the “Don’t Say Gay” law.
He recently signed a law giving the state control over the previously corporate-run district that encompasses Disney World and made it sound like he — Ron DeSantis, Slayer of Wokeness — now calls the shots at the company. That’s not true. Disney maintained the tax breaks and most of the power it previously had, but, you know, go ahead and wish upon a star, governor.
After signing the Disney bill into law, DeSantis crowed: “Today, the corporate kingdom finally comes to an end.”
You do you, Gov. DeSantis, the rest of us are going to just keep living
With the announcement of the Out & Equal conference, which focuses intently on the same diversity, equity and inclusion issues DeSantis’ has been railing against, the Disney corporate kingdom’s response was, essentially: “Whatever, pudding fingers. We’re just gonna move along with the rest of the world and not act weird about stuff.”
The Miami Herald reported: “Dozens of iconic American companies — including Apple, McDonald’s, Uber, Walmart, Hilton, Amazon, Boeing, Cracker Barrel and John Deere — are sponsoring the Out & Equal Workplace summit, which over 5,000 people are expected to attend. Several agencies, including the State Department and the CIA, are listed as government partners and will have booths at the conference.”
So it’s not just Disney ignoring DeSantis’ anti-DEI, anti-woke, anti-Renaissance-statue ramblings. It’s the Walmarts and John Deeres and Cracker Barrels and, generally speaking, most of corporate America and the global companies that Florida kids will one day turn to for jobs.
So, as Trump might say, “Good job with all that, Rob.”
Maybe ‘Rob’ DeSantis isn’t the conservative savior some imagined
The belief in more mainstream Republican circles seemed to be that DeSantis was “The One,” the tough, lib-lambasting conservative who could take the MAGA crown from Trump and lead the party back to the White House.
The naked truth is DeSantis looks more and more like a paper tiger each day. He’s a Florida version of Michelangelo’s “David.”
A wannabe emperor proudly parading about the country, sans clothes.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
More from Rex Huppke:
To keep pace with Donald Trump, Ron DeSantis needs a looming indictment for the clout
Would today’s GOP try to ban Mister Rogers for being woke? Probably.
Blaming Silicon Valley Bank collapse on diversity or ‘wokeness’ gives away Republican game
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